The First Day of the Rest of My Life by Cathy Lamb

Author:Cathy Lamb
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Publisher: Kensington Publishing Corp.
Published: 2011-06-29T22:00:00+00:00

Later that day one of my clients, Shelby Edwards, cancelled. I was her one allowed call from the police station. She is a politician. “Yep, Madeline, can’t make it to my appointment. Been arrested for embezzling. You were right. I should have done something honest. That’s confidential, right?”

“It’s confidential, but you have broken O’Shea’s Principle Number One: If you are dumb enough to commit a crime you will go to jail. Before you go to jail, you will be plagued by guilt, fear, and the sneaking suspicion that you are a loser. Bad mistake, Shelby. I’ll visit in jail. No charge.”

“Gee, thanks, Madeline. You’re a sport. Can you run by my house—key’s under the purple flower pot—and get my cat?”

I would, I did. I gave the cat to my neighbor, Alex, whose own cat died at the age of twenty-two of what Alex says was “earwax.”

To my next client I said, “Quit your job.”

“You’re serious?” Hope spread on that handsome face.

“Yep.”

Hayward is an attorney who wants out. What sane attorney doesn’t want out? Would you want to fight and argue all day with people with massive egos, not to mention the incessant stress of trials and reams of hideously boring briefs and depositions ?

We looked at his finances. I told him to quit and go to the police academy and become a police officer because he’d always wanted to do it, ever since he was six and got a water gun for his birthday.

“You think I can do it?”

Hope was taking hold of Hayward. “I know you can do it. Your student loans are paid off. Your house has a reasonable mortgage. No credit card debt. And you’re miserable. Quit, Officer Hayward. You’re gonna look hot in a uniform, anyhow. Totally hot. Maybe you’ll get a date for once.”

He sagged in relief. “I needed someone to tell me I’m not crazy for doing this.”

“You’d be crazy to stay where you are.”

He rubbed his eyes. “One of my clients was arrested today for embezzlement.”

I thought of Shelby, but I did not laugh, no, I did not.

“She didn’t even call me. I heard it from a police contact. Embezzlement. She’s guilty, I know she is, and she does, too. And I don’t want to defend her. I can’t do it. She’s got a public position, too.”

I nodded. This was not the first time one of my clients alluded to another.

“You’re miserable, right, Hayward?”

“I could not be more miserable.”

“Buddy, you could crash and die tomorrow and if you’re lying on the pavement, staring at the sky, and a meteor of white light is rushing toward you, I can guarantee you’re going to wish you had followed O’Shea’s Live or Maggot Rot Principle.”

“Which is?”

“You can die any day, any time. Live your life with meaning and joy, or allow yourself to rot with maggots on the inside until you come to a point where you wish the maggots would eat your liver so you could cut out early.”

“You never mince words, do you?” He grinned back at me.

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